My Creative Autobiography

1.    What is the first creative moment you remember?

Painting a picture using a shoebox filled with paint colored marbles

2.    Was anyone there to witness or appreciate it?

I’m sure there was, probably my nanny, Lorraine

3.    What is the best idea you’ve ever had?

Cutting unnecessary stress from my life in the form of distancing myself from certain people who caused it.

4.    What made it great in your mind?

I put myself first and realized in the process that I don’t have to make everyone happy. Also that my other friends and loved ones actually respected me more for making such a choice.

5.    What is the dumbest idea?

Making a life decision based on a boy

6.    What made it stupid?

I knew in my gut the reasons for my choice, but I lied to myself to make it seem like I had different motives

7.    Can you connect the dots that lead you to this idea?

Unfortunately, yes. I was a teenaged girl in love with a teenaged boy. It’s oh so heartbreakingly cliché.

8.    What is your creative ambition?

To be able to create without fear

9.    What are the obstacles to this ambition?

My intense self consciousness, perfectionism, and need to please everyone at all times

10. What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition?

Practice, and letting go of the above laundry list of issues

11. How do you begin your day?

Waking up to some happy music from my iPod, getting ready, then reading a chapter of my current favorite book before heading off to class.

12. What are your habits? What patterns do you repeat?

I have a lot of little habits, some good some bad. I can’t sit still, so I do things like pick at the dirt under my nails or crack my toes constantly. I also, when trying to keep my focus during a long class session or a speech, tend to spell out the words that I am hearing out at my side with my hand in sign language. I have too many to even list…most of which I hardly ever notice.

13.  Describe your first successful creative act.

My first ballet class. I was two years old but I immediately told my mom that I wanted to “do ballet forever.”

14. Describe your second successful creative act.

The first poem that I had published in a literary journal when I was up at Duke. I had to do it anonymously, but I still conquered my fear of putting myself out there.

15. Compare them.

Both were big moments for me and came years apart. I guess that the similarity was that I opened myself up before both could happen. I only went to ballet because my cousin went; I wanted to be just like her. But it took me three or four tries to actually get into the studio. I made my mom turn around and go home the first two times, then the next I just wanted to watch. It was the same with my writing: I always did it because I liked it, but I never showed much to people. I didn’t even try very hard when I wrote papers for school, because if I didn’t try, then I couldn’t’ look foolish. But putting myself out there in both situations has resulted two great creative outlets for me.

16. What are your attitudes toward: money, power, praise, rivals, work, play?

Money: I like it! I have quite the shopping addiction, so it definitely comes in handy. However, I don’t define myself by it. The career path I am choosing will have me at about a public school teacher’s salary but with twice the hours in the office, so I will either have to marry rich or live without it.

Power: I like control, and I never want to be powerless over my own life. But I don’t crave power. I don’t need to collect more of it.

Praise: I am a people pleaser but am self-conscious, so praise both elates and terrifies me.

Rivals: I hate having them. I am competitive and always have to win, but I abhor conflict and can’t stand to have anyone not like me. Friendly rivalry is great, like the one that I have always had with my best friend (Maureen) because it pushes me (academically in that case). And beating someone who deserves to be beaten is satisfying, but I don’t want to become embattled in a rivalry.

Work: I need it to keep me grounded

Play: I love it, but I also love downtime: sitting quietly with my kitten and a book.

17. Which artists do you admire most?

I could go on about this forever. But the first three that come to mind are:

1)   The beautiful prima ballerinas who paper my walls. They make something so difficult look so effortless day after day and I can’t help but tear up every time I see a ballet performed.

2)   High fashion models like Coco Rocha. I know that most people don’t think of these leggy beauties as artists, but I love the artistry of fashion design and have come to appreciate those that are the canvass to show off the clothes. Not all of them are artists, but there are girls like Coco that do amazing, imaginative things with their faces and bodies while still looking beautiful and making the clothes look their best that blow me away every time.

3)   Authors. Especially those, like JK Rowling, who create entire worlds full of new creatures, places, names, languages and customs…all from their imagination.

18. Why are they your role models?

Because they do things with their minds and bodies that amaze and entertain. They manage to fascinate me every time I watch them/look at their pictures/read their stories and they all make it look so simple.

19. What do you and your role models have in common?

That’s a tough one. I was tempted to say “nothing.” But I would have to say that we love to see beautiful things and make things beautiful ourselves.

20. Does anyone in your life regularly inspire you?

My friends do. I don’t have siblings, and I have a large group of acquaintances and a group of very close friends. That group is like my family and they are all wonderful people who inspire me to be better.

21. Who is your muse?

My first gut instinct was my mom. She died years ago, but I have memories of her of my own and countless ones from others. She was loved by so many and I want to be like her some day.

22. Define muse.

Someone who inspires you, who makes you want to create. My mother is my muse because I want so badly to live up to her legacy and to make her proud of me.

23. When confronted with superior intelligence or talent, how do you respond?

Unfortunately, with insecurity most of the time

24. When faced with stupidity, hostility, intransience, laziness, or indifference in others, how do you respond?

With impatience and frustration.

25. When faced with impending success or the threat of failure, how do you respond?

As I respond to most things: with a lot of analysis. I think through all of the possible scenarios, good or bad, and try to create the best possible outcome. My friends have even bought me a “decision making pad” that has spaces for “worst case scenario” and pros and cons and all of that to facilitate my process.

26. When you work, do you love the process or the result?

It depends on which work. If it’s choreography…I have no idea. Writing, I live for it to be finished so that I can just STOP editing, but afterwards I acknowledge that the process was cathartic. Dance is about the process and the result for me: I love dancing itself, in class and in rehearsal; and seeing a piece come to fruition and to perform it in front of an audience is awesome.

For my preparation for ­work work, then I would say I prefer the result. In my internship or in mock trial I love the win: seeing a bad guy go to jail or getting that best attorney trophy.

Actually…I take that back. I enjoy the process of the legal research and putting the case together for my internship at the State Attorney’s Office. However, I think that with anything that you want to devote your life to, you have to love it all. Even the hard work.

In mock trial, I do love those little moments of victory in the planning stages, the ones where I know that I have found a great loophole or anticipated the other side’s argument perfectly. However, the stress of the time in the weeks/months before a competition in general is not fun, though the adrenaline rush that I get during the trial itself is a high only comparable to the one that I used to get on stage before I was injured.

27. At what moments do you feel your reach exceeds your grasp?

Every time that I dance

28. What is your ideal creative activity?

I don’t know if this is what the question means, but I would love to be able to perform somewhere amazing: be Juliet at the Globe, Elphaba in the Girshwin, a Rockette at Radio City, Swanhilda at the Paris Opera House…the list is endless.

29. What is your greatest fear?

Losing someone I love.

30. What is the likelihood of either of the answers to the previous two questions happening?

The first one is highly unlikely, and the second has already happened to me and it WILL happen again. I just hope that it is not so far before their time as was my first loss.

31. Which of your answers would you most like to change?

23. I wish that it weren’t true. I know that it’s not a good thing to admit about myself, but at least I can admit it. It would be better to learn from things rather than shrink from them.

32. What is your idea of mastery?

To be able to do something without effort, without even needing to think about it.

33. What is your greatest dream?

To become someone like my mother: someone remembered by everyone who knew her as a person who did something to make their life better in some small way. It amazes me.

Ruth St. Denis Pushed the Envelope

My envelope represents Ruth St. Denis, a modern dance pioneer. Ruth was inspired by religious philosophies from all over the world, but specifically those of Egypt, and Asia (including India). She was not a religious woman, but a spiritual one, and used what she learned from each culture (like the Egyptian goddess Isis or the Indian god Vishnu) as her inspiration for choreography as well as the technique, yoga, and meditation classes that she taught along side her husband at their Denishawn School of Dancing and Related Arts.

I made my envelope using one piece of paper with no scissors or glue in the Japanese folding art of Origami because Ruth's students at Denishawn had allocated time each day for arts and crafts and most likely did Origami as it is in keeping with Ruth's love of all things Eastern.


Here are the explanations for the symbols that I chose to include inside my envelope:

Lotus—All Asian religions as well as Japanese Buddhism

From ancient times the lotus has been a divine symbol in Asian traditions representing the virtues of sexual purity and non-attachment and divine beauty.

In Japanese Buddhist symbolism, the lotus represents purity of the body, speech, and mind as if floating above the muddy waters of attachment and desire. According to legend,Gautama Buddha was born with the ability to walk, and lotus flowers bloomed everywhere he stepped.

Wheel of Becoming (Bhavacakra)—Tibetan Buddhism

The wheel is a complex symbolic representation of “samsara” in the form of a circle. Samsara is the continuous cycle of birth, life, and death (reincarnation) from which one liberates oneself through enlightenment.

Jen/Ren—Confucianism

There have been a variety of definitions for the term ren. Ren has been translated as "benevolence," "perfect virtue," or even "human-heartedness." When asked, Confucius defined it by the ordinary Chinese word for love, saying that it meant to "love others."

Confucianism says that if a ruler does not possess Ren, his people will not act humanely toward each other and, basically chaos will ensue,

Yin Yang—Chinese Taoism

The Yin Yang is used to describe how seemingly contrary forces are actually connected and dependant on each other in the natural world.

Hand—Jainsim

The word in the middle of the hand is the Jain “Vow of Ahimsa,” meaning nonviolence.

The wheel represents achieving the end of the cycle of reincarnation and finding the final peace through the pursuit of truth.

Aum—Hinduism

Though Aum is a single syllable, it symbolizes an all-encompassing mystical entity: basically it is the manifestation of reality and God in form. It includes in it not just the entire physical world, but every aspect of consciousness.

Khanda—Sikhism

The Sword to the left represents truth, and the sword to the right represents the willingness to fight for what is right (dharma). The circle in the middle means that there is only one God, never beginning and never ending.

Eye of Horus—Egyptian Mythology

Egyptian symbol of protection, royal power and good health


Pyramids--Egyptian Mythology

Pyramids were tombs for the great men and women of Egypt. They were thought to be the best way to help the soul get to the afterlife. The shape of a pyramids and their location had to do with the sunset, because that was associated with the realm of the dead in Egyptian mythology. The shape of the sides of the pyramid are thought to mimic the rays of the sun, and all pyramids were built on the west bank of the Nile, because the sun sets to the west.
The Egyptians believed that the stars revolved around the gateway into the heavens. One of the narrow shafts that extends from the main burial chamber through the entire body of the Great Pyramid points directly towards the center part of the sky. 

Loie Fuller in Five Lines

A Poem for Martha

A Heretic

robbed of her Adolescence

kneels in the Shadows 
gazing up at the Figure of a Saint

playing Secular Games 
in her head.

Is that saint as perfect a she seems?

Is she really a tragic and beautiful Persephone
doomed to live in darkness until the spring?

How about one half of a perfect "Romeo and Juliet? "

Could it be that she is an alluring 
but venomous
enchantress Circe

or even better, a bold and brazen hester pryne
a bright Scarlett Letter emblazoned on her chest?

Who knows.

But the hint of a smile in her face

turned upward 
as if towards the heavens

tells more than a story of piety and Lamentations

it tells a story of Revolt.

Travel Itinerary for Isadora Duncan (12/5/04-1/1/05)

I have prepared a travel itinerary for Ms. Duncan for the dates listed (from some actual information on dates of her performances from Prime Movers) There is a window below, but I would much rather that you followed the link to the  document instead as it looks much nicer :)

Travel Itinerary Google Doc

Review of Paul Taylor's: Company B

The San Francisco Ballet's performance of Paul Taylor's Company B last night was, in one word,  fantastic. Other reporters have previously referred to the piece as "one of American dance’s finest achievements" (Time Out Chicago), and "some of the most glorious dancing to be seen anywhere" (Newsweek). 
Every piece from "Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny, Oh!” to “Joseph! Joseph!” “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," “I Can Dream, Can’t I?” and “Tico-Tico,” were danced superbly and cleanly by the ballerinas. 
Company B is set in the 1940's just as America emerges from the dark times of the Great Depression and into the age of prosperity ushered in by World War II. Taylor chose to set all of the pieces to pop hits by the group the Andrew's Sisters, an accurate portrait of the music of the era. Pieces like "Bei Mir Bist Du Schon" show couples in light colored clothes jitterbugging, lindy-hopping, and polka dancing the night away across a bright white stage "lit as if it were heaven," but as we all know, while the economy was looking up, America wasn't all smiles in that day and age: men and mere boys were going off to war, some of them not coming back home. As with most of Taylor's works, Company B has a dark side to it, but it is a very realistic one, one that existed in our country just beneath the surface of these sunny years with their exuberant music and dancing. We watch a jaunty solo magnificently danced by a male principal in "Bugle Boy" end with the title character getting shot. The beauty and happiness of the entire performance is overshadowed by the cloud of war hanging over the heads of these young people. Taylor has always had cutting edge work, so much so in the 1950's that audience members often walked out of his performances and leading Martha Graham to dub him the "naughty boy of dance, a nickname that has stuck with him through the next century. The "naughtiness" has been tamed to a place where he can keep behinds in seats at rapt attention, but it is still there, under the surface. The most pervasive and deceptive facet of the naughtiness is that a work like Company B  would be performed by some of the country's leading ballerinas and widely accepted as one of his most popular works because of it's pep and upbeat nature. When really, it is centered on a very grim topic. Paul Taylor, "Naughty Boy," has done it again.


Here is a video clip of the highlights of SF Ballet's performance of Company B:
Company B

A Day in the Life of a Denishawn Student

Dear Journal,

Today I woke up before it was even light out because I was so excited to start my first day at Denishawn School of Dancing and Other Related Arts. My mother was up too, fussing around the kitchen trying to make me the perfect sendoff breakfast. Of course, I couldn't eat because I was so nervous. As we drove up the hills outside Los Angeles, I had no idea that we had reached the place where I would spend my next 12 weeks when we pulled up. It looked more like a beautiful spa that celebrities stay in than a dance studio. It is this beautiful old spanish style mansion and I am in awe right now just in my bedroom.

We got there bright and early so that I could make it in time for class. We had three hours of technique classes. Ted started us off with barre. We did plies in first, second, third (which I found strange) fourth and fifth, rond de jambes, petit battements, and grande battements. We did some fouette preps at the bar as then moved on to the center where we worked on some basics from adagio (like developes and renverses) then we worked petit allegro (lots of beats!) then moved on to practicing every kind of pas de basque in the book. We even learned a new kind specific to the Denishawn technique that used modern arms and a lot of lateral torso movement. We did some technical combinations in center with lots of body rolls and isolations. Then we moved onto the floor for arm and hand exercises, then last it was back up to learn a long combination and perform it in groups. Ted said that we learn by performing, and I really had a blast performing for my peers on my first day.

We had lunch together in the dining room, and I got to mingle with the other pupils. Everyone is really nice. After lunch we went to the outdoor ballroom to start classes with Ruth. First she started with some typical yoga breathing, then took us through a full sun salutation for almost thirty minutes. Then we moved through yoga poses and stretches from different Eastern traditions. It was neat how Ruth explained the origin and philosophy behind each one.

We ended the day with some origami and other arts and crafts just to let us relax and then started a discussion of what book we would like to read in our group. I can't wait until we narrow it down and start reading tomorrow!

I need to go to sleep now so that I can be ready for another 3 hours of technique in the morning with Ted, so I will write again tomorrow.

The Modern Dance Manifesto for Dummies: Preface

The next time you look into the mirror, just look at the way the ears rest next to the head; look at the way the hairline grows; think of all the little bones in your wrist. It is a miracle. And the dance is a celebration of that miracle.

Martha Graham 

Let's just start by saying that this book is not going to be like a modern painting: abstract and confusing. We know that you are just dipping your toes into the pool of dance and are probably way too scared to swim (sorry for the metaphor...get ready for a lot of those where modern dance is concerned!) Modern can seem unapproachable and elitist, but we are going to bring it down to a level that everyone can understand and maybe, by the end of these 153 pages, you will actually enjoy it!


Modern dance is more than just a style, it is a movement. It has been and will continue to be a way for the literal movers and shakers of the day to manifest the ever changing values and goals of society through art, the body, and the stage. Starting in the 20th century in America and continuing today, famous figures like Loie Fuller, Isadora Duncan Martha Graham,  Doris Humphrey, Agnes de Mille, Lester Horton, Merce Cunningham, Ruth St. Denis, Ted Shawn, Paul Taylor, Jose Limon, Alwin Nikolais, Alvin Ailey, Katherine Dunham, Pearl Primus, Twyla Tharp, Alwin Nikolais and so many more have broken dance out of the rigid shell that ballet created for it and molded it to their own interpretations, all influenced by the social, political, and economic climate of their day, as all great artists are.

In this book we will take you step by step on a journey through the 20th and 21st centuries with these modern dance pioneers and and their philosophies. We will, in part, show you what historical movements influenced them in their dance and use specific examples to help you to better understand where they got their impetus. 

Modern dance doesn't have to be scary. It may seem overwhelming and intellectual but to be honest all of these figures were just people who didn't like the way that they were forced to dance and wanted to do things their way. They were struggling with heavy issues of love, loss, illness, war, oppression and simpler every day things in their lives just like we all deal with. Their outlet for dealing with those things was dance, and we are going to help you learn from them. They left quite a legacy, and they would want nothing more than for all of you readers to follow in their footsteps.

Letter from Twyla Tharpe

Dear Mallory,

For my next performance, I am just so engrossed in the choreography that I haven't had time to give the set design much thought. I heard through the grape vine that you were a fan and had been chomping at the bit to create something for me. My only parameters are as follows: I want it to represent me in some way (you should know what I mean after researching me for that amazing project that your group did about my work!) and I want it to be a representation of contemporary dance as a whole today. Other than that...just surprise me. I am already on to the next piece!
Keep Dancing,
Twyla

Twyla,

I was so excited to hear from you! My familiarity with your work gave me a few ideas. I guess I'll lay out the essential definition of contemporary dance as it applies to sets for me. I know that modern dance, especially for you, builds on ballet. Ballet always has such elaborate backdrops almost like oil paintings depicting realistic country scenes or vine-clad castle walls. I feel like those pieces of scenery are almost crutches and distractors. I think that contemporary dance right now is about focusing on the dancer and the story that the choreographer wants to tell. I also know that you have found ways of filling the stage (or "stuffing it" as you would say) with your dancers' movement and formations rather than excessively ornate backdrops and props. I want to highlight that by keeping the entire stage a stark white: the floor, the wings, the backdrop...everything. Also, I think that contemporary dance today does a great thing by giving a nod to old traditions in a new way. I think that it would be cool to bring back the slightly inclined stage from shows years ago to add a whole new dimension and throw another kink at your dancers. Unlike the old days, the audience will still be inclined as well (obviously we won't be building a whole new theatre I assume...) so they will be able to see EVERYTHING with the double incline.
Since everything is white, I am sure that we can do some really cool things with lighting designs to add some of the new technology that contemporary dance embraces. We can project different colors at different times to reflect the mood and pace of the music, and add screens to reflect patters. We can leave some dancers in dim light or complete darkness in order to bring focus to specific dancers at the right times.

So to sum it all up, the essentials of contemporary dance that I want to highlight are a streamlined focus on the dancer, new twists on old favorites, and embracing new technology.

I know that you can make something fantastic out of my ideas. I can't wait to see the show!

Thank you for the opportunity!

Sincerely,
Mallory